I’m lost and I’m not sure I can find my way back. Adrift in uncharted waters without a compass or stars, I’m beginning to wonder if it would be best just to drift away into the mist until I disappear.
Infidelity is a tenacious bitch. She’s robbing me of my confidence, my trust in my best friend and almost worst of all, my sleep.
Since the news that my partner of 20 years has been having an affair for 5 of them, I haven’t had a night’s rest. For the past few weeks my sleep has been fitful, scattered with nightmares and PTSD sweats I thought I’d finally conquered with the ketamine infusions.
I’m exhausted. I never realized how important sleep was. I ache. Everywhere. My eyeballs hurt. I’m forgetting words, names and what I did 2 minutes ago. That’s some scary shit folks. I had to pare back my schedule because I’m terrified of making a mistake at work.
My doc is tweaking my night time meds. I hope it helps. If it doesn’t I honestly don’t know what will happen.
I’d love to hear from anyone else who has dealt with extended insomnia. How do you function?
Right now I honestly don’t have any more fucks to give. Sorry guys.
One Veterinarian’s Life 